“It’s a very powerful thing when someone sees you as the person you wish you were.”
A year ago my writing came from a place of sadness, but lately, it’s all come from a positive heart space. I’ve had a lot of changes in my life as of late (career, new home, etc) and I’m overall pretty happy with the direction I’m going. However, I’m still human and I’d be lying if I said I never had “down” days.
I’ve been overthinking and questioning myself more this past month. I’m always appreciative to my friends for calling me out on my BS though. Which they have been more often these past few weeks. I’m also working on growing as a person and it feels pretty amazing being in a space with people who still like me even when I feel lame or say something stupid. I think it helps that I like them right back.
I’m working on creating clearer intentions for myself. Why am I here? What do I want to accomplish?
Because at the end of the day my thoughts and actions will lead me in the direction I’m headed.
I used to crave status. For a long time, I believed that my status in this world would make people think that I was special and important.
To be loved and appreciated I needed the best degree, to attend the best college, and have the best clothes, etc. But it didn’t, and it still doesn’t define who I am. What defines who I am is what I think about myself, my internal voice, and how people experience me.
My intentions aren’t status driven anymore. I’d rather make someone laugh, or change a small part of someone’s day in a positive way. I want to end each day knowing that someone’s life is better because of something I helped them with or something I said.
When I walk into a room are people eager to say “hi” or are they unsure of how to approach me? What energy am I bringing with me, and how is that affecting those around me?
I want to exude light and be around people who do the same. I want to spend my life surrounded by people who can laugh, who seek growth and who can just have fun. It’s the best feeling to be able to laugh simply because you’re happy with the company you keep.
But I’m also feeling overwhelmed in my thought process. I think that some time away will be good for me.
I’m going to Connecticut for a few days this week for a wedding. It’s coming at a good time too because I’m pretty ready for some time away. I want to come back to Los Angeles on Sunday with a clearer mind and more awareness of who I am and what I want. Where’s my power and how can I utilize it to best reach my goals? How and what do I plan on bringing to the table going forward?
Because I know that I could be bringing more and I know that with clearer intentions I can go higher.